I can never decide if being a cop is fun or incredibly depressing/annoying/frustrating...
"We must throw off the symbols of our oppression!" the naked man shouted, spreading his arms wide as if he wanted to hug the world, or at least all the trees in the park.
Officer Rosie Lopez sighed. One of the mysteries of the universe was why it was only old, ugly people that insisted on shedding their clothes in public. The man in front of her was a perfect example. Pushing seventy, his body was one big roll of fat. Hairy fat, at that.
A second universal mystery was why the belligerent nudists always picked her shift to go looney tunes. Rosie assumed it was punishment for something she had done in a previous life.
"Sir, I need to ask you to put your clothes back on and come with me down to the station."
"And I need you to cast off your uniform and join me in being one with nature!" the man replied as he spun in a circle.
Rosie grimaced. The rear view was no prettier than the front.
Trapped in the white gazebo behind him, a mother tried unsuccessfully to cover the eyes of her five year old son. Half eaten sandwiches, chip bags, and juice boxes lay at their feet.
"Mommy, what's wrong with Santa?" asked the boy.
"Sir, you're starting to frighten the children. I'm only going to ask you once more..."
"Don't you understand, there is so much more to the world. This, all of this, is but a reflection of the true universe, a fabrication of your fevered mind. You need to open your inner eye to get beyond this limited reality and comprehend the truth."
Rosie held up her taser. "I've got 50,000 volts of my reality right here. Do you want to take this truth for a test ride or will you come quietly?"
The nudist got dressed and didn't give Rosie any more trouble.
THE END copyright 2013 John Lance
"We must throw off the symbols of our oppression!" the naked man shouted, spreading his arms wide as if he wanted to hug the world, or at least all the trees in the park.
Officer Rosie Lopez sighed. One of the mysteries of the universe was why it was only old, ugly people that insisted on shedding their clothes in public. The man in front of her was a perfect example. Pushing seventy, his body was one big roll of fat. Hairy fat, at that.
A second universal mystery was why the belligerent nudists always picked her shift to go looney tunes. Rosie assumed it was punishment for something she had done in a previous life.
"Sir, I need to ask you to put your clothes back on and come with me down to the station."
"And I need you to cast off your uniform and join me in being one with nature!" the man replied as he spun in a circle.
Rosie grimaced. The rear view was no prettier than the front.
Trapped in the white gazebo behind him, a mother tried unsuccessfully to cover the eyes of her five year old son. Half eaten sandwiches, chip bags, and juice boxes lay at their feet.
"Mommy, what's wrong with Santa?" asked the boy.
"Sir, you're starting to frighten the children. I'm only going to ask you once more..."
"Don't you understand, there is so much more to the world. This, all of this, is but a reflection of the true universe, a fabrication of your fevered mind. You need to open your inner eye to get beyond this limited reality and comprehend the truth."
Rosie held up her taser. "I've got 50,000 volts of my reality right here. Do you want to take this truth for a test ride or will you come quietly?"
The nudist got dressed and didn't give Rosie any more trouble.
THE END copyright 2013 John Lance
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